Comedian Phil Evans is from Ammanford. He is known as the man who puts the ‘cwtsh’ into comedy. Website – www.philevans.co.uk
He also writes for Llanelli Online although he will never admit it.
Here Phil takes a sideways look at life in Rhydamman or Ammanford for the unfortunate souls who have not learned God’s own language.
On Saturday mornings, when I wander around the millionaire’s playground of Ammanford, I visit the same places in the exact same order every week, otherwise I feel unsettled.
Don’t laugh. We all have our funny little ways.
You’ve just remembered what yours are, haven’t you?
First thing on Saturdays, I fill up at the petrol station. They have a wide selection of hot snacks and pastries I can fill up on before shopping at the supermarket.
Then I stop at the newsagents for my newspaper, before buying cod and chips at the chippy.
Obviously, if I did these things in the wrong order, I could end up eating fish and chips out of my newspaper while pushing a supermarket trolley.
But on May 19th, I felt really unsettled.
I was the only customer at the petrol station on a Saturday.
The supermarket had so few shoppers that check-out girls were gossiping and yawning. That gives you some idea how exciting their gossip was.
I also felt unsettled at the usually busy chippy, because there was only one other customer and he wore a Union Jack top hat, Union Jack suit, Union Jack bow-tie and Union Jack boots.
Okay, he might have been in some weird Spice Girls ’n’ Slade mash-up tribute band, but I decided not to ask and hurried home with my cod and chips.
I felt I was missing out on something important that was keeping people at home, which I found very frustrating.
But not as frustrating as the traffic on the M4 later in the day as I drove to a gig just outside Windsor.
It took me more than four hours to get there.
I don’t usually like performing at wedding do’s – but the happy couple and their families gave me a right royal reception.
As for their house? Honestly, it was like a palace . . .
